Lingering Voices
I begin to perceive and delve into intense emotions that still linger within me after the termination of pregnancy.
I made a short documentary on my experience of medical abortion in Denmark in 2017. Feeling liberated from that happening, I head to Denmark to conclude this memory. Beneath the dazzling lights of Copenhagen's city, I finally realize, 'This is the beginning of the journey.' I called my ex-partner, wondering if he would welcome me in Portugal. I head to Portugal to meet him with several questions in mind. Has he already forgotten those dim times? Or do those memories still cling to him in the past?
Some experiences completely change somebody's life. For me, it was a termination in a foreign country. It was then that I truly came to understand my body, and discovered the differences of orders. I realized that what happens within one's body is something no one else can experience on their behalf. The loop of guiltiness still haunts me. Shame, guilt, remorse. I found these words are universal among those who have had abortion. Even though I'm not religious and have no regrets about my decision, I found myself trapped by these words. Behind the sentence 'I don't regret it,' emerged a jumble of unresolved emotions within me. How can I move forward without burying the memories and experiences of the past? This project began with this question. I want to create a film that addresses the turmoil one faces in their life beyond abortion.
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